I joined this NaBloPoMo thingie where you can win prizes if you post on your blog every day for the month of November. Thankfully, I have a bunch of kids hell-bent on driving me insane, so coming up with material to post about hasn't been too much of a challenge. The last thing I won was in the third grade. It was a poster-making contest for the school carnival and I won the grand prize, because I scotch taped red, white, and blue crepe paper around the edges. Dude! It was 1976, our country's centennial celebration. Yep, you could pretty much say I peaked in the third grade. The kids always try to get me to buy lottery tickets, but I refuse, telling them a bunch of bullshit like, "I don't need to win the lottery, I have everything I could ever want already," and "I'd rather invest that dollar in my Coach purse fund your college fund." I do buy raffle tickets to support various causes, and Mitch always laughs at me when I'm genuinely disappointed I didn't win. Mitch also likes to remind me that "winning" stuff on ebay actually means losing, to him and his tightly shut wallet, anyway. So that doesn't count. I almost always win the "guess how big the pregnant lady's waist is" game at baby showers. I figured it's generally about a yard around, and if you can eyeball three feet, you're pretty much guaranteed to win. Ladies, feel free to use that trick at your next baby shower, and think of me when you're putting those scented candles you won in your re-gift cupboard.