As American as....

There's just something so stinking cute about baseball and little boys. It makes me all warm and fuzzy. And then, when he gets home, he's always hollerin' for eggs. Because eggs are what tough guy baseball players eat when they're done with a game.
When we were on our way home, I asked the girls if they had fun at Henry's baseball game. "Henry was playing baseball?" Sez Grace. Sigh. I wish I was making this up. That's their friend Morgan on the left. She could be one of mine.

Two rides.

Yesterday our preschool went on a field trip to the fire station. I left my camera at the school, and it's very unfortunate, because I would have really liked to have pictures of the uh, fireman firestation. All the moms eagerly volunteered to be strapped into the board, but alas, I was at the back and wasn't picked. The moms agreed that it was our best field trip yet. Then the firemen drove us back to preschool, riding on top of the hoses, down Main Street with the lights and sirens blaring.

Today I took the girls to Burlington because I had to make a dreaded, long-overdue trip to Costco. It's about 75 minutes from our house, and usually I bring a movie for the girls to keep their car-sickness prone eyes trained up to the screen, but I forgot. Aaaaaaaaand I'm sure you know where this is going.

They lasted until we were pulling into our driveway. Another 30 seconds and I would have been home free. I felt the splat against the back of my seat just as I was pulling the key out of the ignition. A little sympathy barf to go with it, and we were golden. But luckily! It was Mitch's car.

He let me use it so the girls could watch a movie on the long drive.

He survived.

Coming into the bay (he's the blondie in the blue and yellow vest)

My cutie McCutiepants arrived safely home yesterday. He had perma-grin for at least an hour, maybe more, until he remembered that he's an adolescent, and has to be sullen and put-out. They camped both nights on the uninhabited James Island, and apparently all the kids had free reign of the island, a la Lord of the Flies. I'm pretty much positive there was no teeth brushing, let alone Purelling of hands, but I'm willing to just let go of that. The rest of the family is mostly happy to have him home because they no longer had to listen to me saying things like, "I wonder what Jackie is doing. Do you think he's cold (or hungry, wet, lonely, etc.)?"

We spent most of the weekend painting. One coat of primer, three coats of REDREDRED in the tv room. It's a good thing we don't work on projects together too often, because I'm not sure our marriage could take it, and that's all I'm sayin' about that.

We also discovered that all six of us enjoy buffalo burgers last night, as Gary and Bernetta had us all over for dinner and mojitos. But not the kids, of course. No mojitos for them. They did get to bury a dead bird, which appeared to have been the highlight of the weekend for Henry.

Anddddd, he's off.

Mitch climbed up here (Deception Pass bridge) to wait for Jack's ship to go under so he could get a picture.
That's my firstborn, can you see him? By the cabin in the red hat. I wonder if he's cold or missing his mama. More importantly, Where do they poop?

Big Boy Trip

Tomorrow, I'm packing my boy off with 14 middle schoolers and four chaperones for three days on a 52 foot historic sailboat, so he can learn to sail, camp on various small islands, and come home stinky. One reason I love it here~ the cost of this trip? 25 bucks for food. It'll be a long weekend without him, because I'll have no one to laugh at my jokes. And I'll have to unload the dishwasher by myself, and no one will be too cool for cuddling. Also, after about 12 hours, the dog will stand by the window and whine until he gets home. That's real annoying.

Honey Bucket

Tonight was Henry's first baseball game. Well, second, really, but the first one was snowed out. Ahem. Anyway, it was a great game. The sun was finally out and all the kids seemed to be having a very good time. At one point, Grace had to use the bathroom, so I had to take her to the dreaded Honey Bucket. Now, I have a real problem with germs. I know! How can this be with four kids, and living in the country, too? But, it is what it is.

Olivia came with us, and while I was helping Grace (that is, making sure none of her bare skin touched ANYTHING), I told Olivia to wash her hands. I was holding out my Purell to her (Yes, I keep hand sanitizer in my pocket. Shut up.), but paying attention to Grace. I turned around to see why she wasn't taking the Purell, and there was Olivia, scrubbing her hands with the dirty urinal cake.

I passed out cold.

Dumb

It was a big, dumb weekend. Everyone was in different stages of this crud that's going around, there was snow murdering my innocent seedlings, and Mitch decided it would be a good time to wire the tv room for surround sound, so there was dirt everywhere. Why? Because you have to go UNDER the house to wire it, and everyone wanted to go under the house (except me, duh). All the furniture and toys from the tv room are spread all over the house, so there's piles of crap and dried mud everywhere, because we're painting next! RED!

Also, Olivia decided to tramp herself up in my bathroom while I was out trying to save my plants. I didn't take a picture, because my instinct was to keep her from thinking it was cute (which it was, in a hilarious, garish, hooker-clown sort of way). So, I washed her face, but painted her toenails and gave her some chapstick so she could feel four year-old fancy. Jack is still not back in school, but Henry and the girls are, so yay.

On the bright side, nobody barfed!

So wrong

Still snotty

This virus that's been keeping us down came back to our door this week, so it could kick Mitch and I in the ass. Oh, and Jack? Here's a kick in the ass for you, too, since you have WASLs at school this week. Now, did I get everybody at least once? Good.

Mitch would like everyone to know that there is a silver lining to all this snot and fever. It took my voice! Croak.

Also, we're expecting snow tonight, because I packed away all our warm coats for the summer (and when I say, 'packed away', I mean 'shoved in the back of the closet with my foot'). Oh, and I spent two weeks carefully setting out tender flower seedlings and planting my vegetable garden, so, yay. Snow.

Update: "Mrs. Henrysmom? This is Joyce, from the elementary school. Henry is here in the sick room with a fever."

Crusty

Well, if you want something done right around here, you've got to get some Duck tape and orange buckets and do it really wrong. Within about 12 hours, Mitch built this table for the Moon Sand bin, because he couldn't bear to look at my contraption (see below to refresh your memory). I know, I'm awesome. Next, I think I'll replace the ugly master bath lights with Christmas lights and a staple gun.

Today is the first day back for the kids after a nearly two-week long spring break. Of which we had about 1 and a half days where no one was sick. The girls are both on their second germ love-in, in fact, and are staying home from school today. Crusty, boogery goodness. They've watched The Red Balloon about 6 times in the last few days. I highly recommend this little French movie from the 1950's. It's short, and there's no dialog, but it's a great film. And it will make you feel like you're exposing your kids to art, rather than parking them in front of the tv so you can go check out gofugyourself.com without them snotting up your clothes.

21 in dog years

What's the best way to celebrate your third canine birthday?

1. Chase deer out of your front yard.
2. Go to the most awesome off leash dog beach in the world with your mistress and her PMS hair and all those kids who drop yummy stuff on the floor.
   

3. Chase dogs and sniff their delectable poopy butts.
4. Hang with the boy who let's you sleep nose to nose with him on his pillow.
5. Take an impromptu ferry ride to pick up the boy's buddy and get lots of admiration from fellow travelers. Looking Feroche! of course.

6. Home again, home again. Jiggedy jig, to eat a birthday cheeseburger.

Swimmers

Well, I don't know what happened during their week off from lessons, but they both were swimming like fish yesterday. Well, like a fish and a, uh, beetle turned upside down on it's back and tossed into the water. But it's major progress for Miss Grace. Finally! And can I get an A-MEN!
This is her favorite outfit (for this morning, anyway). It all goes together in her mind. She also spends most of her time having imaginary conversations with her friends on her toy cell phone.

Yesterday, my delivery of Moon Sand (30lbs on major sale from Amazon) came. I had asked Mitch if he would be willing to make a little frame for the bin so the kids could stand next to it and play, but he just looked at me like I was crazy. Well, look who had the last laugh. And all I needed was some Home Depot buckets and duck tape. The look on his face? Priceless.



And finally, I won't show a picture of my checking account, because there's NOTHING to see in there, folks, just kindly move along, but Hellllooooooooooooooo Gorgeous:



It turns out no one was willing to start ordering pizza from the local pizza place after I've spent years lovingly cultivating each family member's favorite pizza. Like potato with aged white cheddar, rosemary, feta, and cracked pepper, lightly drizzled with olive oil.

He's a lucky man

Me: "Why are the girls not in their pj's? What is this poor parenting?"

Mitch: "Uh, I was busy cleaning the kitchen and you were surfing the internet for Jeez-Its."

My amazing weekend

We had a busy, busy weekend of not leaving the house. Well, Jack did ride his bike into town (on the road!) for the first time ever. He called, as instructed, when he arrived safely. He had bought an ice cream with his own money, but he was wondering if I would pay him back for the water he bought, since it was my fault for not reminding him to bring one. Seriously. Meanwhile, Mitch and I were busy gardening. At around 2, the kids were really getting loud with their complaints of hunger, so I threw some pb&j sandwiches at them for their first picnic of the year. I thought it was feed a cold, starve a fever, but if it's both a cold and a fever, I'm pretty sure it means you can feed them late.

Dang, I'm an amazing mother.

On Friday, Tragedy (yes, with a capital T) struck. I was teaching Jack how to make pizza, and for no apparent reason, my beloved mixer broke. I must have called Mitch at work five times freaking out or giving him internet-researched tidbits about broken mixers. I'm sure he was wondering why, with four sick kids, I was giving him updates about a mixer rather than our kids. But they can't make pizza the way my mixer can.

R.I.P.

Spring

Freshly tilled, ready and waiting to be planted. Those potatoes in the foreground were dug up by my sick kids today. Leftovers from last summer's garden. That's right. This is the country, and in the country there are no sick days. Get your coughing butts out there and dig up them potatoes.

The stinging nettle. The bane of my existence. In case you couldn't tell (with my new camera, you can even tell that I need a manicure!)

Dinner.

I made her some special chicken legs, but I don't have the heart to wake her feverish adorableness. That is too a word.
Shut your piehole.

Things I know right now

• If you wash all the bedding, including comfortors, pillows, and mattress pads, a minimum of two kids will wake up sick in the night.
• If you are on the first day of Spring Break, and you have all sorts of fun things planned, a minimum of two kids will wake up sick in the night.
• If your eleven year-old unloads the dishwasher, you won't realize that he misplaced the coffee maker lid (which you MUST have for the machine to work) until 5am, when you absolutely can't even think where to look. Aha! You say, but this lady has four coffee makers! I'm out of pods for my single serve machine, I packed up the espresso maker weeks ago, and the french press is dumb.
• Google sent someone to this site yesterday when they were searching for the phrase "using first pee of the morning to whiten teeth".
  
• The french press is dumb AND messy.
  

Lunch Lady . Happy April 1

This morning, Jack was dejectedly munching away on his eggs when the phone rang.

"Coupeville Middle School? Who could that be?" I said. Why, it turns out that I GOT THE LUNCH LADY JOB!!! Jack put his head in his hands, but I overplayed my enthusiasm and I could see it dawning on him that today was April Fool's Day. He did concede that this was my greatest prank ever. And that's saying something.