Crybaby

The director of our preschool asked me if I would be willing to talk to the parents at the next meeting about what it's like to send your child off to kindergarten for the first time (since I'm such a prolific breeder and have already done it twice).

"I'm sorry, I won't be able to do that," and before she asked why I was dabbing my leaky eyes.

Midlife crisis, here I come, and I damn well better get a new minivan out of it. You know, a cool minivan. So I look young. And cool. Because I'm turning forty the same year I'm sending the last of my offspring into the system. And minivans are cool, just ask Jack, who will be inheriting my old one.