Henry: "Ugh, the beach again? Can't we go to Pump it Up?"

Me: "No Henry, I have to get some little pieces of driftwood for an art project I have planned. And when I told you to go outside and get some fresh air, I didn't mean go sit in the shade with your gameboy, now put it away."

Jack: "You're going to STEAL driftwood off the beach? I'm not going with you to break the law. I can't believe you're going to steal driftwood. Nice example you're setting, mom."

Me: "You are too going. I need someone to be a lookout, now get your butts in the car!"

Do you see what I'm dealing with, people? With the exception of Jack's disdain for my thievery, we did have a lovely day, highlighted by seeing a guy on a lawn tractor in his underwear, man boobs a-jiggling.