The Principal's Office.

Mitch and I were called in to the middle school principal's office to meet with both the principal AND the school counselor today. They even made us wait for three terrifying minutes on the chairs I'm sure are reserved for troublemakers. This was my first trip ever to the principal's office (since I'm so good), so I asked Mitch for some pointers (ha, ha, hi honey!) on what to expect.

It turns out Jack isn't getting kicked out of school, but has had some behavior issues related to being bored in school, especially math. Generally, conduct unbecoming a class president. Also, he's been challenging authority and being obnoxious in class. I don't know how on earth he ended up with those two character traits. Why couldn't he have inherited an unnatural love of shoes or extreme skill with a miter saw (I don't really know what a miter saw is, or if it even is a real tool, but I'm sure you get my point.)?

We kicked around ideas after I squelched my urge to scream, "You must have the wrong child! I breastfed him! He's an angel from heaven! I feed him whole grains and have a firm but loving hand in discipline!" Meanwhile, I'm sure my husband was all, "Yes!!! Question authority! Fight the Power!" We talked about moving him up a grade, but first the school is going to try and give him more challenging work. He doesn't want his friends to know he's smart, so we're going to work on How To Not Act Like an Asshole to Prove You're Not Smart at home.

Now I've got to go take three boxes of cake mix and turn them into a Lego brick.