County Fair

Well, hello there. I had to pull the tea cozy off this blog to tell you a story about a clown. Also, I haven't been chronicling anything we've been doing without the "I'd better bring my camera, there might be a good post in this little adventure" nagging me, so here I am. How do you like my new outfit? Does it make me look fat? (Any of you who may have gotten a bazillion Youtube videos of dancing five year-olds in your readers, I apologize. I have no idea what happened there) . Onward!

We went to the County Fair yesterday. I made the kids promise they wouldn't ask to go on rides, but that we'd do everything else. The rides are old and rickety, and last year Henry slipped out from under the safety bar on the Octopus, and also, my name is Kate, and I'm a safety freak and a germ-a-phobe. Whatever, they didn't really care about the rides anyway. A good time was had by all, mostly. The three youngest entered the Lego competition. The girls' age group went first, and I'm willing to bet it was the first Lego Angel the fair has ever seen. They were thrilled with their rainbow 'participation' ribbons. Henry's age group was next, and these kids were hardcore. Henry wasn't as thrilled with his ribbon, because he didn't win the competition, but his structure was solid, symmetrical, and cool, even without torpedoes and blasters (it was a violence free Lego competition, which left most of the boys competing at a loss for what to make).
There was much petting of animals, and even Chicken Olympics (don't even ask). Also, much hand sanitizing.
I entered the beautiful quilts my sister Kim made the girls, and there were tons of entries, but look! A blue ribbon!
And another! I'm not sure how they did the judging, but obviously, Kim's quilts were the most beautiful. The girls were pretty upset when I took the quilts, but were very excited to see them hanging at the fair.
My man took third in the homemade Mead competition, and he was clearly robbed. Assholes. Jack could not believe how lame the home-grown beets were. His are twice as big and gorgeous. Next year, I think he's going to enter them.

I noticed that a certain clown was performing on one of the stages, and we'd seen this guy perform years ago at one of Henry's preschool functions. I remembered him as being pretty funny and all the kids responding very well to him. Now, Henry has a serious clown phobia, and I thought it might be a perfect chance to show him that clowns are harmless and fun, because I'm an idiot. Clowns SUCK! We sat in the very front row, because,did I mention I was an idiot? It started off okay, a lot of slapstick involving about a hundred cardboard moving boxes, falling and 'hurting' himself, that kind of thing. The three youngest laughed and seemed to be having a good time (although I thought Jack might pluck his eyeballs out). Then, the clown invited a kid up onstage to have a "box fight", in which the kid puts boxes on his hands and feet, the clown does the same, and they beat the crap out of each other. At this point, many of the parents are shifting uncomfortably in their seats and we're regretting being stuck in the front tow. Henry's lower lip had just begun trembling when the effing clown invited ALL the kids up on stage for a tower building competition. Grace and Olivia ran up, followed by a tentative Henry, who was NOT A PUSSY. The stage was covered in boxes, and the riled up kids did what any kids who had just seen a "box fight" did, they started throwing boxes at each other and attacking the clown. Henry was off the stage in a heartbeat, blinking a hundred miles a minute to hold back the tears of terror. Some kids just stood up there and started crying. Olivia was right in the thick of it, throwing boxes with the rest of them, and Grace was off to the side, laughing, but staying out of the way. All the parents were looking around, wondering if this was supposed to be happening, surely, this must all be an act? We grabbed the girls off the stage and got the hell out of there. Jack was disappointed, as we left just as it was getting good.

SO! I'm pretty sure I didn't solve Henry's clown phobia yesterday.