So yesterday I went to bed with a terrible migraine as soon as M got home. I could hear the kids laughing and shrieking at the dinner table through my drug-induced haze. This morning, I asked H what they had been laughing about. It seems H had acquired a nice pile of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans from Abby's party. For those not familiar with Harry Potter, they're jelly beans with yummy flavors mixed in with flavors like Vomit, Booger, and Ear Wax.

H: "We were playing Bertie Bott's roulette. Dad taught us it, but the girls dropped out when O got a rotten egg flavored one and spit it all over the table."

Me: "Is that why you were shrieking so loud?"

H: "No. After the girls dropped out, there were a bunch of Soap-flavored beans left, so Dad said we could say bad words like the 'F-word' if we washed out our mouth with a soap jelly bean after. I didn't know the 'F-word' was F-U-C-K, I always thought it was fart!"

Now that's some good parenting.